Just having one of those days when I realise that I am not too good at contingencies. It is all or nothing with me… and usually that has stood me in reasonably good stead. But I realise that the stakes have changed. And though I do subscribe to the idea that even life’s most painful/challenging/frightening events will eventually pass on by, albeit changing/shaping us in their wake, when one is in the midst of the pain/challenge/fear, it can be difficult to keep perspective. Especially if it is something you didn’t see coming. And let’s face it, for all the risk-averse, contingency planning behaviour we could engage in, the shocks of life that knock us for a six and then allow us to pick ourselves up, dust off and choose a new path… we never see them coming, do we?
Well… I have to confess that I am littering the blogosphere with my random ramblings more than most this month because I have subscribed to NaBloPoMo’s challenge to blog daily. And I am not sure I like the person I am becoming as a result… perhaps it is not such a joyful challenge to me, the journal-as-it-comes-to-me kinda girl, who kept a diary since age 13, but never on a daily basis. I find that I am reducing my daily life to a blog-like musing in my head as it unfolds…
But in the midst of the challenges that may face us in the immediate future, I am aware that we don’t have much in the way of contingencies, but we are not completely without options… and for that at least, I am amazingly grateful.